We’re so happy to have Aileen Cho, a licensed therapist based in the Southern California area, as our guest this episode! Aileen is a 2nd generation Korean-American clinician that offers psychotherapeutic services in both English and Korean. In this podcast (a first for Aileen) she shares her personal and professional insight into intergenerational trauma, marriage challenges, and the various ways she helps individuals to find their own way to heal.
Aileen’s website: https://www.aileenbcho.com/
Contact Aileen (currently not accepting new clients until Sept. 2024): aileen@aileenbcho.com
Highlights:
00:00 James gives a brief intro of Aileen. They met at the Asian American Theater Festival at UCSD.
01:45 We do a check-in. Aileen is very pregnant.
04:25 Born in LA, her mother's family were North Korean refugees and shares a story about her paternal grandfather who was sold as a child slave to a Japanese family.
07:00 Discusses how she was born into intergenerational trauma due to her family’s history. She is the keeper of stories for her family.
09:45 Started off in acting and theater in college, while also going to therapy.
11:25 After college: Her shift to the mental health field and eventually getting her Master’s in Drama Therapy.
12:40 Intergenerational trauma:
Separation of North and South Korea.
The way we rear children is influenced by our own trauma.
16:00 Advice to young people deciding about whether to go to therapy.
20:20 How were your first steps into therapy?
23:11 Finds that Korean American therapists are rare in her field and overall there’s a dearth of Asian American therapists.
25:25 More Asian Americans are going into clinical practice as well as seeking therapy. Most of her clients are now Asian Americans.
28:27 Mental health issues particular to Asian Americans.
31:55 Aileen’s Time Capsule Theory in regards to immigrants and the children of immigrants.
36:10 How to get boomer parents into family therapy.
37:35 How has being a therapist and going to therapy affected your own relationships?
40:50 Challenges with married life.
48:05 Communication issues with couples.
49:50 In the current social climate, the pressures of expectations of marriage has never been higher. Recommends Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.
57:27 Collective grief and drama therapy.
What do you to stay balanced? (59:40)
Language corner （01:02:27):
Circumstances that bring people meant for each other together; destiny; connection.
Mandarin: 緣分 (yuánfèn)
Korean: 인연 (inyeon)
Empathy*
Korean: 공감 (gong-gam). From the hanja 共感, gung6gam2 in Cantonese, gònggǎn in Mandarin.
*Aileen shares that the word “empathy” comes from the Greek words “in” (em) and “feeling” (pathos). Compare this to Korean, empathy = 공감, which is “communal" (공/共) + “feeling” (감/感). Shows individualistic vs collectivist cultural differences in the languages.
01:09:17 Aileen and her husband have inherited her mom’s secret kimchi recipe.
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